everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
