I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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