hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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