Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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