We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
