Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Randomize
