Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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