you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
