please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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