just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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