Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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