Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
