Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
