I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
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Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
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He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize