Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i came on her dog
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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