Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
