Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She bit a glass in half.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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