He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
And then my night got REAL pukey
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
