I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
