At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize