Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
