so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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