I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
