it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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