Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize