There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
