Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
