I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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