you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
