Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
