Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
from now on my penis is your penis
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
