I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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