At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
