May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
