Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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