her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
