I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
nutella sex= disaster
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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