dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
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