I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize