im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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