You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
