Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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