Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
