Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
