We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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