so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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