i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Houston, we have a squirter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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