i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
