someone get that fucking seahorse.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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