sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
