I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
be right there i have to get my cape
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
