Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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