THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
