omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
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Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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