sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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