so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it was like his penis was on wheels.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
