he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize