how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
