I am in a vortex of obligation.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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