it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
