cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
