the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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