At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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