We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts