Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?