So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid