my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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