This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
