porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
