Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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